Popularity, Friendship & Community


After a particularly enjoyable serving shift, I arrived home energized and grinning stupidly.



blog1I think back to my high school years, when I strived to fit in, to be popular. I felt very alone in that time. I felt awkward and different. I hadn’t grown into my forehead or nose or 5’11” frame. I didn’t buy Hollister hoodies or Lululemon yoga pants. I didn’t own a flat iron and I never dyed my hair. I took the friends I had for granted as I observed who I perceived to be popular with childlike naivety.

I realized this energy I felt inside after my serving shift– which had been socially satisfying and adrenaline-producing– was due to a fulfilment of this old fantasy.

I felt popular.

What is popularity really though? How many people know your name? Having a close entourage? Being liked? Being respected? Having a large number of people consider you a friend? A certain number of likes on social media?

This realization that I’d come to a place I’d both consciously and subconsciously worked towards brought me satisfaction. It also made me feel silly. How ridiculous is it that we seek so much attention and affirmation from others. Assuming most humans operate on the same desires and fears, everyone is doing the same thing. So how can anyone truly satisfy other people’s needs for attention while they chase after their own?

But then I realized it wasn’t popularity. Popularity is an intangible.

No. What I felt was a sense of friendship and community. It wasn’t that so many people knew my name and that I knew theirs. It was that in one place I could see so many familiar faces; that I was part of a network of people with things in common. It wasn’t that I make almost anyone laugh as I demonstrate time and time again my horrible math skills. It was a connection only humour brings, when two or more humans throw their heads back in common appreciation of life’s best moments. It wasn’t that I could now confidently talk in french to my co-workers and customers. It was that I had expanded my reach to people of other backgrounds. It wasn’t that people took interest equally in my victories and anxieties. It was that they truly listened when I spoke and supported me as I know I would do for them.

Friendship and community. Not popularity. That’s what’s important.

Like Disco Superfly (or Songs You Need to Hear Now)

portishead, the cure, tove lo

Today is Sunday which means you should be relaxing. Need some inspiration to kick back? Or some choonz to jam out to during your Sunday routine? Here’s a playlist for you from me and the DJ boofrand.


Hip Hop is Dead – Nas

Hey Love – Quadron

I Ain’t No Joke – Eric B. & Rakim

Sex and Candy – Allen Stone

Oh Miah – Blackmill

When Will I See You Again – Shakka

Tennis Court – Lorde (Flume Remix)

Don’t- Ed Sheeran (Sable Remix)

Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran (Alex Adair Remix)

I’m an Albatraoz – AronChupa

Habits – Tove Lo (Stay High)

Glory Box – Portishead 

Close to Me – The Cure

The is Ska – Scacid Dub Remix

Weekend Practice


Good morning world!

How are you feeling this morning? Are you refreshed or just functioning? How did your weekend’s activities play a role in your attitude and energy today?

I just had a great weekend so I thought I’d share what made it so rejuvenating and energizing for me.

Reframing Failure


I was going to do January blogathon. A new post every day.

But life.

My mom came to town to visit for two weeks. I got a third job. I am moving house. And I think I’m coming down with…

Enough excuses?

My normal inclination would be to settle into a comfortable state of self criticism (for isn’t it easier to see our own flaws than it is to acknowledge our strengths?). I could have watched less TV. I could have snuck in time to write on the weekend. I could have skipped that nap. Who do you think you are trying to blog every day? 

It could be viewed as a failure. But I can also choose a different outlook.

We expect so much of ourselves, we plan and arrange our lives in such a strict way that whenever circumstances bring us a few feet off the trail we’d planned to take, it is a big deal. We become blind in our panic to return to “the plan,” and miss out on enumerable opportunities that were not part of our preconceptions of our life.

I’ve learned many times over these past few months that taking risks and stepping out of my comfort zone brings many rewards. Sometimes the reward is a lesson, sometimes it’s an exciting opportunity and sometimes it is simply another chance to see what I’m made of.

Blogathon was a noble idea. But I’ve been practicing something greater than writing.


There’s a saying “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” The more I let go of my expectations and desires, the more I find myself in serendipitous situations. Every time I stop my overactive brain to honestly converse with another person, I grow. Each breath I exhale and footstep that hits the ground is a chance to change my direction and my attitude.

Whose scales was I using to measure my success? 

Whose scales are you using? 

I believe what we so often view as failure is simply an event in our lives that we lack the discipline to relinquish control of. The tighter we hang on to the idea that we have control over things in this world, the more “failure” there will be. When I feel the need to control or micromanage, I only feel more out of control. When I need things to go according to plan, I am stressed beyond reason.

Once you realize the unpredictability of life, and that true marks of success can only be defined by yourself… Failure isn’t failure anymore. Use your own scales to see what the day was worth.

Be bold in your undertakings, work hard for opportunities that come along and be open. Take the word failure out of your lexicon. Replace it with LESSON, GROWTH or CHALLENGE. See how it changes things!

If you enjoyed this, agreed or disagreed with what I said… please comment! I’d love to hear from you.

Imagine, Work, Enjoy.


Don’t we all have some neatly folded fantasies in a hidden drawer somewhere? There are dreams like skinny jeans that we keep working towards, we keep trying them on.

If you are of the persuasion that what you put in is what you get out… If you believe in the law of attraction… If you could fathom that we manifest our own lives through our thought life… then you may realize how important it is to dream. To spend real time and energy focusing in on the specifics of desires and aims in life. How they will feel, taste and smell.

How clearly can you see what you want? 

What future reward drives your present work? 

A few months ago, I made a collage of four pictures of things I wanted, along with the goals that I needed to achieve in order to splurge on these rewards. Last week, I hit the first of the four. I reached 200 followers between my two blogs. (THANK YOU!) For this, I’m treating myself to a tie dye hoodie from the Mod Sun merch store. It’s a happy, colourful purchase to remind me of positivity and perseverance that pays off.

It’s a small thing, but it illustrates a clear desire , followed by the work to achieve it. There are other- more significant- rewards.

The feeling of waking up refreshed and energized after you start taking care of your health.

The pride that swells in your chest when you take another step towards your dream job.

The sound of the steel lock clicking as you open the door to your first home.

The taste of a lovingly prepared meal.

The simple contentment of being in the company of good friends who took a long time to find. 

These are all examples of things that you imagine, work to create and then enjoy.

Imagine. Work. Enjoy. 

What can your mind come up with? What outcome inspires you to wake up in the morning and get to work? Are you enjoying the process of your progress towards your dreams? 

If you are interested in learning more about manifesting what you want through visualization and action, pick up Mod Sun’s book “Did I Ever Wake Up?” or watch “The Secret.” Both are resources that I’ve used on more than one occasion and thoroughly enjoyed.

January Blogathon!


Announcement time!


I’m a few days late in boarding this train, but it’s decided. I am going to blog every day for the remainder of January. Writing is my craft of choice and the only real way to improve is to practice and practice a whole lot.

Each day there will be an alternating post on this, my main blog, and my health blog.

Daily blogging seems daunting. You may get tired of me by the end of the month. But gosh darnit I will blog on.

Moving my fingers over the keyboard as if in a trance at two in the morning when I can’t sleep, it’s natural to me. Pounding the words out into some shape and form that is relatable to other humans who stumble across this place is cathartic. Processing the unending ideas and stories that circulate in my brain brings me peace. Blogging for me is about sharing and learning and teaching and growing through writing. It’s a community, it’s a soapbox, it’s a journal.

On this blog, I have shared my life. Ups and downs, my passions and pet peeves. On my health blog, I gained an awesome community of support and inspiration when I began my journey in 2012 to train for and run a marathon and change my health for the better. When I share my dreams and goals, I hope I inspire others to dream big also. When I tell my invisible audience I’m going to do something, it makes me want to follow through. Beyond reading, blogging gives the chance to connect and gain feedback.

That being said, I challenge you to come back each day for the new post and to chime in on the questions I ask on the post, or tell me what you liked or didn’t like. Give me suggestions. Tell me about your day. Anything! I want to connect with you, as I share this crazy ol’ life with you. Don’t be shy!

Are you doing a January blogathon? Let me know and I’ll link to your blog and maybe you can link to mine so we can share in this journey. 

Filling a Blank Page


Happy New Year! 

If you happened to read my last post, you’ll know Christmas was difficult. I found out afterwards that we lost not one, but two beautiful souls on Christmas eve. I am very thankful for a boyfriend who kept my head on straight at this time. It would be easy to allow the tragedy of loss to continue to affect me and bring me down. It is harder to choose joy, to choose to direct my focus to the silver linings.

There is an infinite amount of possibility in this world. To learn, to grow, to expand your mind and your life. I know so many people are annoyed with #newyearnewyou, or the commercialism attached to self-improvement targeted at January resolution makers. And I don’t believe you need a new year to make changes in your life. However, I like to see each year that rolls in as another opportunity for exploration and recreation. It’s a blank page, it’s a fresh slate, it’s another chance and we’re still around to seize it and make the life we want and be people that are kind and passionate and awesome. You can choose to see it this way or not.

This is what has filled the first moments of my blank page, 2015.

(photo cred to Mauricio Rojas Gramal)
10906180_10152562114751485_6611097625260861927_nAt the bar… we missed the countdown due to somebody falling asleep (most definitely not me)…. but we came for a drink and new years hugs at work before last call. (photo cred to Mauricio Rojas Gramal)


Great crew to be working with on New Years! Nobody came in for dinner in my section, I didn’t serve a single beer! It was fun regardless getting ready for the party and sitting around talking with these wonderful people. 1484289_10152461247922554_6013748579192249050_n

Aw…  (photo cred to Patrick Lizotte)10704173_10152464212917554_5619597058783903926_n

We’re gross. (photo cred to Patrick Lizotte)10917903_10152464212997554_3573233975682388871_n

What happens on Skype stays on skype is most definitely stored for embarrassment on my blog or your wedding day slideshow. My sister back home is the best medicine.


Today I’m happy. Christmas and the days following held a lot of sadness and grief, but the wind is changing. Today I felt ready to plan and dream again. I’m proud of who I am and where I’m at and anticipating wonderful adventures in 2015. This is my content, confident, nothing’s perfect but everything is alright face.


Happy New Years everyone!



What an interesting Christmas.

The first in my 22 years on this planet that I am not in my little living room of my BC home.

The first without my parents. My dad is back in BC. My mom is in Ontario as her sister just passed on Christmas Eve. Though I never lived close to my aunt, I have very fond memories of all the times I spent with her growing up. She was the sweetest lady, and my heart breaks for my mom who has lost a sister. I don’t want to think of the days when I lose my two sisters.

There’s so much I have to be grateful for. However, these blessings are grandly juxtaposed with a homesick stomach, an aching heart and sporadically flooding eyes.

I’ve been up for 5 hours now, it’s Christmas morning. I went to bed before any of the kids; I was done with the day.

So, naturally, I woke up at 1 am.

It’s 7 am now. It’s a white Christmas, but we won’t see more than darkness outside for another 2 hours. The kids are up and excited to go downstairs to their stockings. I am already tired, but happy to have company now at least. Some coffee should remedy this for the time being.

I’ll keep hope for this coming year and everything that it holds. I will stay thankful and continue to work hard to get to where I want to be. I won’t take people for granted. I will say I love you more often. I will take every opportunity to do my best, to give my best, to give my all.

Merry Christmas all.

Be Present


In an attempt to clear up some space on my hard drive, I’ve been sifting through old files. I’ve found a lot of pictures and writing that I forgot about from the past couple years. Some fun stuff, and some that I rather I hadn’t have found, given the times weren’t as rosy as they might have appeared to onlookers. Nonetheless, I like to reflect on what I’ve learned and experienced through things I’ve captured and written.


Lately, I’ve been focusing on living by the 4 agreements. A principle laid out in a book I’ve not read, yet feel it is very useful for living a good life. The 4 agreements being…

Be impeccable with your word. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t take anything personally. Always do your best. 

Along with the practice of those things, being mindful and present as much as possible has been a game changer for me. In my digital digging tonight I came across a song I wrote last year that talks about the negative impact living according to your past (which you cannot change) or future (which you cannot predict) has on your present health and happiness.

“Can’t breathe—can’t breathe

The wind is too strong on these seas

Can’t sleep—can’t sleep

For flashback or forward

Both betray my peace”

Whether you are too focused on your past mistakes (or the mistakes of others in your past) or your eyes can only envision an ideal, future life situation that you haven’t attained… you will be robbed of your peace. You will be robbed of the joy of connecting both in relationships and to yourself. I was. For so long I was.

The idea of self and being present is so interesting to me. For one, I accept that I am unable to see myself as others see me. Even in the mirror, a reflection can easily be changed with lighting and angles and state of mind. I can look myself in the eye, and still only see a perspective of myself.

If I look in the mirror and see my failures, that affects my perspective as well. Or, I could look in the mirror and think of my potential for the future that I have to look forward too. Both scenarios don’t allow me to know my present self, or engage in my present world with peace and mindfulness.

“It’s your imperfections that make you perfect.” 

My boyfriend said this to me a couple weeks ago. Maybe it’s a little corny. Maybe we were talking about my legs that I hadn’t shaved. Regardless, it’s a perspective I’ve never been able to adapt on my own. The thought that in this moment, I’m my best self– the only self I have, the self I should be thankful for– had never crossed my mind. There was always something to be regretting or something better to be looking forward to.

What obstacles prevent you from living in the moment? How could you align your mindset with an attitude of thankfulness for the precise moment you are in? What benefits do you lose out on because you are looking forwards or backwards too much? What distractions could you eliminate that take you out of the moment?

I hope this was a helpful read for someone. I know as I practice being present I feel less anxiety, less fear… more love and more gratitude. Life is never perfect, but you’ll gain nothing by trying to fix something that is past or trying to reach something that isn’t here yet.

Do your best. Be yourself. Allow yourself to think only of the current conversation or task you are in.

Enjoy the moment. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not guaranteed.

West Coast vs. Arctic


I’m continually having to reconcile what I thought to be “true” or “right” with what I see on a day to day basis in this new environment. This is a journey of continual adaptation.


West Coast…. 

The ocean, mountains, forest trails, bioavailability, and cultural diversity all contribute to a rich and busy life. The streets are all named and the numbers make sense. Most people complain about not having enough, though they have more than most in the world. A place of animal activism, endless petitions for third world crises, yoga posers, lean runners, mountain climbers, casual hikers, beach goers, world travellers. Rain, veganism, organic, recycling, composting, thrifting, mindful, pseudo-cultured (ie. keeping up appearances on social media) … all buzzwords that come to mind when I think of the home I left. Here I am one of 123,000 people. There’s so much beauty, many people I miss and convenience that I definitely took for granted until this point. There are a lot of people I know in BC doing things that inspire and excite me… It’s a booming place that will keep you in motion.


A frozen bay sitting below an ever changing sky. It begins as a soft glow in the morning when the clouds block the sunrise but still a pale yellow mingles with the grey. Before long it becomes layers of fiery orange, blue, and grey. Before sunset pinks and purples streak along the horizon. There aren’t any trees here, and the tallest building in town is the 6 story. There are two grocery stores, a few restaurants, a few schools. Local artists walk through restaurants selling their work. The air hurts my face sometimes and don’t think about going outside without a coat on. I can sit down beside anyone at the bar and not feel out of place. It’s something I never experienced in BC. Whether this is an indication of personal growth, or of the difference in sense of community(here) vs. competition(west coast) in public settings, I’m unsure. But I like it. Here I am one of less than 7,000 people. People can tell I’m new in town, that I’m not from around here, but aren’t bothered. I’ve never met so many people willing to open up a space in their life for me so quickly. I get to practice my french here, and pay way too much for orange juice and basically all groceries. I know all the faces when I go to the store or take the kids to hockey practice, and I’ve only been here 4 months.

morning sun

I can’t paint either place as being better than the other. Each has its own benefits and drawbacks.

Both hold a different charm for me.

I will definitely continue to reflect on what this place has brought and what it can teach me before I leave next summer.

Perhaps it’s the new start that has been the most refreshing. I feel like I have always been a very neutral person. Not remarkable enough for people to either love or hate. The new space and connections formed here have changed my mind about that. Iqaluit and the people I’ve met and the things I’ve done thus far have led to greater self-knowledge and renewed joie de vivre.

Peace. More to come soon.